Saturday, May 2, 2015

House of Thrones... (Because Game of Cards was already taken)

The Leader of the Opposition has accused the Prime Minister and senior members of her government of having conspired, among other things, to murder a journalist to kill a story. In response, the government, through one of its members, accused the Leader of the Opposition of being a rapist and of being himself the product of a violent rape. All of this done in the sanctity of the highest space in the land, the seat of Parliament, and broadcast to the world at no risk to either side of slander, libel or defamation. The government through its spokespeople have accused the Opposition Leader of being corrupt and of hiding pertinent information from the Integrity Commission, the entity that is supposed to keep public officials corruption free. In response the Opposition Leader has accused the Minister of Finance of insider trading when he was the head of the nation's third largest bank. Two former Attorneys General from two former administrations have accused the former Attorney General of the current administration of serious abuses of Office amounting to billings totaling almost a half billion dollars, in response to which the current Food Production Minister has responded by asking the Integrity Commission to look into a list of suspicious actions of both accusers while they were in Office.

My mother just got back from a long trip to Canada, and told me that her friends want to know why I don't write anymore. As a creative writer of fiction, tell me, after reading that opening paragraph, short of introducing an attack on the Parliament by zombies or revealing that the Prime Minister may in fact be pregnant with the Opposition Leader's love child, how do I top that? Even the news stories these days are sometimes so impossible to believe that they require taking with a pinch of salt. Take for example the chair that the Chairman of the country's electricity commission sits on, rumored to have cost the country almost thirty thousand dollars, and while the Chairman has never admitted or denied sitting in the chair, she has distanced herself from its purchase. It gets worse. The leader of another political organization who now fancies himself a corruption buster has offered to purchase the very chair, ostensibly for political purposes, but this same leader was fired from this same government for corruption on an international scale, and who cannot answer for authorizing the retrieval of a crashed fire truck at more than five times the replacement cost of the truck. The chairman named in the chair scandal is married to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, which many claim is the reason why the chair story is a story in the first place, while others are of the view that purchasing outrageously expensive furniture for the use of state officials with state funds is the issue in and of itself.

Where was I? Oh yes, my mother. I had to explain to her that my weekly commentary was hired by a weekly newspaper under a former editor (who is now a candidate in the upcoming election on the same team as the Opposition Leader), and that up until recently, my weekly contributions went there primarily. A few weeks ago after the Opposition Leader was accused in the Parliament of being a rapist and that he himself was a child of violent rape, the new Editor of that old weekly announced that henceforth, nothing that showed the Opposition Leader in a bad light was going to be published, and because I found it almost impossible to write something good about the now made over, newly gentle, formerly garrulous and bitter combatant, I resigned. Funny thing though, that same Editor of that same weekly did not seem to have that same integrity when it came to others or those she and he (her leader) might consider political adversaries, because while she had a serious problem with articles referring to the Leader of the Opposition as an alleged rapist, she had none whatsoever publishing a full page fully nude image of a deceased politician on the front page of that same newspaper with a headline that alluded that he died while on a sex romp.

How do I contribute to that mom? How do I write knowing that the allegations made against the Prime Minister that she was a willing and conspiring murderess came in the form of a series of email exchanges that were never verified before they were put scandalously into the public domain but which have since taken years in the digital age to determine if they were in fact real? Or the fact that the Commissioner of Police is rumored to have received correspondence from the largest Internet Company on earth weeks ago but still cannot reveal their contents, while the Prime Minister insists that she too received the same information that exonerates her in any murderous enterprise, leading to the Opposition Leader's chief spokesperson saying straight faced to the public, ignore whether the emails were in fact authentic or not, pay attention to what the (fake?) emails contained. And while you are wrapping your head around that, wrap it around this as well. That same spokesperson is currently courting the former Minister of National Security of the current government to join their team despite they having accused him of being a willing coconspirator in the same murderous conspiracy, his name called in the same Parliament by the same Opposition Leader now courting him.

Isn't this all too bizarre?

And doesn't all of this suggest that either the Opposition Leader's spokesperson knew full and well that the emails and all they contained were rubbish when they were read in the Parliament? Or is it that everything is fair game in this House of Thrones and he is willing to play fast and loose with his own personal safety, consorting with an alleged murder conspirator for political reasons?

And (believe it or not) it gets even more interesting.

In response to and in defense of the allegations that the Opposition leader was a rapist, the same spokesperson for the Opposition Leader 'produced' a video that he said that they had in their possession since last year in anticipation of such an 'attack,' a video starring the very woman that the Opposition Leader is alleged to have raped when she was still a minor and the child of that rape, now a full grown thirty nine or forty year old man (they were having difficulty in the video deciding which), despite the fact that the purpose of the video was to debunk the allegations. But ignore that for a bit. To hear her tell they the story they were in love, drunk with puppy love, and that the child of that union was conceived in love.

Isn't that just too romantic and cute for words?

And while I am even willing to accept that, what I found remarkably interesting about that video is, while the Opposition Leader's spokesperson claims that it was produced since the year before (2014), and that they have had it in their possession for over a year, no one has been able to explain how is it that is comes to refer  to events that only took place in 2015, trumping my zombie plot with a possible time machine and perhaps a working crystal ball.

Mom, the real reason I am not writing anymore is that, while I am a veritable virtuoso in creative writing and fiction, seriously, how do I top that?

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